Goodbye, America’s World Cup. Please don’t do that ever again.
After a nervy first half, the World Cup Final delivered a fever dream of a halftime – one that lasted a record 27 minutes and 22 seconds – to relieve some tension.
Madonna opened up the World Cup Final’s first ever halftime show singing her hit Music from an underground rollerskating rink, in a car being driven by Brazilian legends Ronaldinho and Ronaldo.
Then it was a sudden shift to the Muppets with composer Gustavo Dudamel doing the White Stripes’ iconic Seven Nation Army. It must’ve had Jack White turning in his grave (because he sleeps in a coffin, probably).
K-pop icons BTS, in all red, slipped into their smash Dynamite, before they got interrupted by Ted Lasso stars Jason Sudeikis and Brendan Hunt, who subbed in edgy Hillsong priest Justin Bieber and his acoustic guitar for a chilled out Everything Hallelujah.
Colombian star Shakira brought some appropriate World Cup energy, performing Dai Dai with Burna Boy. What would FIFA do without Shakira? Probably a whole show with the Muppets.
Before the game, Tom Cruise, dressed like a backstage roadie, delivered a stirring speech from the middle of the pitch like he was the Gandalf of futbol.
“Football is a language spoken without words, a force that unites people, that turns strangers to friends,” he said, before announcing today’s teams – “Espana y Argentina” – with all the cultural respect of an SBS commentator.
Post Malone also popped up in a cowboy hat and the tightest Canadian tuxedo you’ll see, performing his new song Chrome Heartbreaker, a return to his rap roots after going country, before bringing out Swae Lee for the Spiderverse hit Sunflowers.
Spotted in the stands were A-listers including Will Ferrell, Pharrell Williams, Adrien Brody, Matt Damon (with his Argentinian wife Luciana Barroso), Trevor Noah in a Spain shirt, and San Antonio Spurs superstar Victor Wembanyama.
Robert Moran is Spectrum deputy editor at The Sydney Morning Herald.Connect via email.
